The co-dependent, psycho girlfriend.

Good morning! I'm currently sat eating McVities biscuits from the leftover Christmas tin and sipping hot chocolate on one of the first 'wintery' days of the year. It's currently 3pm on a Sunday and I'm staring at the screen willing myself to write something reasonably challenging when all I really want to do is watch television all day. I would quite enjoy that. But I'm determined to be more productive as I have a whole Sticky Note brimming with ideas attained during late night wonderings.

So, today, I am going to talk about how much I hate NME magazine. It's not particularly challenging I suppose because many people already dislike it, but hey! Let's go with the majority here.

I'm going to start off by quoting Matt Bellamy's beautifully crafted words, which can only be formed when one is in a particularly drunken and thus enlightened state of mind.

"I love NME. I love it because it's like that crazy, weird, crazy, sort of co-dependent, psycho girlfriend that like loves you one minute and then hates you and then loves you, then hates you and makes you want to come back for more."

I think this sums up my relationship with the magazine. I used to worship NME because it's one of a select few that are proud to represent less mainstream music, up-and-coming artists and ... Muse. This is what makes me continually read it, even now when I really dislike the swill which is written inside. It's one of the very few 'popular' media sources that give me hope that others also listen to alternative/indie/whatever-genre-we're-calling-it-now music.

However, that pride is its downfall. The magazine will love and nourish a band or artist until they hit the big time. Once they start to entertain the millions rather than the thousands, the magazine will rip them to shreds. I think it's completely hypocritical. Azealia Banks (NME's current love child) should probably watch out.

The articles which are heavily laced in sarcasm and the bitterness of a jealous ex are almost painful to read in some cases. In my ignorance, I used to think the NME was almighty and their opinion was the only opinion that mattered. I have now realised that their holier-than-thou stance is completely biased. Which is why I like Q, it's a couple of quid extra but every article is written from a professional perspective whether they be reviewing Adele or I dunno, Animal Collective. Plus, it's oh-so glossy!

And seriously? The best POP songs of 2011?

NME really enjoy sending mixed messages, surely this list should contain the likes of Justin Bieber and One Direction? Not Azari & III.

However, referring back to Matt Bellamy's quote, why do I still read the NME? Because it's the magazine that you love to hate. Also people seem to think you're some cool, cultured indie-chick if you're caught with it. Whereas if I read something stereotypically female targeted like Heat magazine;

1. I feel my brain cells depleting rapidly.
2. I feel dirty and ashamed.
3. I haven't got a clue who they're talking about - which is funny as the people who read Heat would probably feel the same way when they read names like; Two Door Cinema Club, The Cribs and Crystal Castles (names on the front page of NME's current issue).
4. I lose faith in humanity (a phrase tossed around a lot these days).
5. I really do hate it, there's no love involved.

And Q magazine? Let's face it, it's like NME's uncool dad.