End Of An Era

It has ended. It's over. It's no more. That part of my life has been completed and ticked off the list. I've rounded the corner, climbed the mountain, completed the marathon. The first major milestone of my life.

Yes, it's all mushy stuff (and as a warning this post only gets worse from here) but I have ended my schooling career, the most dominating aspect of my inexperienced life. It's a very strange feeling, yet I don't think it has fully dawned on me yet. I don't think it will until I head off to university and start my next chapter.

Until then I feel as if I'm in limbo.

That state of unknowing between school life and university education. It all finished incredibly suddenly and I think I'm still reeling from the shock of it all. This isn't a summer holiday, I won't be going back to school in September. I'm continually reminding myself of that.

The next 3 or 4 years appear planned out but there's always that sense of fear and anticipation. Firstly, who knows if I'll get the grades in August? - I had a nightmare about that last night. Then, if I do, one of the biggest steps of your life; leaving home and for me, travelling miles away. It's a giant leap but I hope one that will come just as naturally to me as moving schools or home.

Until then I have to sit back and wait. Well hopefully get off my ass and do something proactive this summer. Perhaps do some volunteering, festivalling and travelling. The latter two being money dependent as always.

So what have I been doing for the past month? Unfortunately no bands have been seen and so no reviews of late but I have discovered lots of songs which I will share with you soon. Since my last post it goes without saying that I've finished my A-levels. Let's all breathe a sigh of relief! I've spent a lot of time with my friends partying, clubbing and then recuperating in a sleepy town in the heart of Devon.... typical post-exam fun. Oh! And I dressed as Whitney Houston for a murder mystery evening. In the midst of it all, my school was celebrating its 150th anniversary and in absolutely pretentious fashion. I found myself attending a massive concert on the school grounds, a fashion show and a rainy, outdoor performance of Romeo & Juliet. It was all brilliant of course but very over-the-top. Finally to end our time at school, there was Commemoration day which involved many lengthy speeches, the giving of prizes, the singing of hymns and the muttering of prayers. All with tearful eyes...apart from me, heart of stone right here! Then in the evening we all donned our dresses or bow ties for The Ball. We gave our final farewell to peers, who, without saying it, we sadly realised we wouldn't see again. As well as to life-long friends who we knew we would be meeting up with shortly.

The past two years have whizzed around. Sixth form has encompassed some of the best and perhaps the worst days of my life but I hope I am leaving with no regrets. Looking further back, the past 14 years have shaped and moulded me into the person I am today. School has been my nourishment and protection and it's easy to reminisce on some wonderful memories but now I must move on and look towards the future.

Free will or free meal?

The last few weeks have been a hell of a busy time, which is unusual. Most summer holidays I can spend a week or two just twiddling my fingers, looking for something to do but this one has been non-stop. (more on this later)

I'm beginning to reminisce like this because it's one of my last nights as a free woman. On Wednesday I go back to sixth form. Back to the daily grind. The hard slog through timetables, restrictions, coursework, exams and early mornings. Yes, we've all been there. Some of you may still have a while to go. I have one year left and deary me, I can't wait for it to be over. I am completely ready for university. People have said that sixth form is the best years of your life. I disagree. However I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But how long is this dark tunnel I'm about to enter for the last time? Too long.

My brother has informed me that university is the best time of your life. I hope he is right.

One more year. Just one more year.

However this is how everyone feels at the beginning of a new academic year. Am I right?
After breaking up from school about an eternity ago, I am so completely unwound that going back into the daily routine will be like diving into a pool of icy water, shocking at first, followed by a period of readjustment.

I know however that once I get back into the routine, I enjoy it. Doing A-levels especially means that you can study the subjects that you find interesting, I mean at present I'm struggling to pick one to drop. I get to see all my friends, some of whom I haven't seen all summer and catch up on all the gossip. Plus there's that freshness; new uniform/suit, new stationary, new folder, new leaf.
But most importantly this year, this final year, we're at the top of the school, the superiors, the powerful, the example-setters. Who would have thought?

But even with all my positive thinking I still just can't help chanting:

One more year. Just one more year.